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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

That Face, That Laugh, That Hair!


In a recent interview the incomparable Phyllis Diller was asked to tell her favorite gay joke. This is what she said:

I went to a gay wedding recently, and instead of the garter I caught the jockstrap. I was uneasy with it at first, but then I decided to have it bronzed. Now I serve dip in it.


I laughed and laughed and laughed.

She's a legend.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

12 Gems

It's been decades since I've purchased a Neil Diamond recording. He lost me somewhere in the early 80s when he sang a song about that over-rated creature from outer space, ET. What was he thinking? "Turn on your heartlight. Let it shine wherever you go…" I wanted that damn ET to burn out and die. From there it was downhill all the way for Neil and me. I yearned for the Neil of yore, the Brill Building writer who gave us "Solitary Man," "Sweet Caroline," "Holly Holy," "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show," and "I Am I Said."

Just when I had written him off as someone that I used to like, he comes out with "12 Songs," produced by the incredible Rick Rubin (who brought the Dixie Chicks back from the Bush backlash). It's the CD he was destined to make. The songs are deep and emotional with none of the schmaltz that's plagued his past recordings. This is stripped down music that reinvents Neil Diamond the artist.

Treat yourself for Christmas and purchase this wonderful CD.

Monday, December 11, 2006

I Fell In Love With An Ape


He stood in the setting sun
crashing waves made him seem gigantic
One look in his eyes I came undone
so romantic
On the dunes of the cape
I fell in love with an ape

He moaned and I felt no fear
every touch was a touch so tender
I sighed and he entered me right there
I surrendered
In my heart there's no escape
I fell in love with an ape


Monkey skin as tough as leather
and a heart as soft as a feather
My burly baby and me
make perfect love together



Some say he's a different species
He's got arms that extend too long
One look and it's clear to see he's
my own King Kong
I'll take him any size or shape
I fell in love with an ape

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