Thursday, January 20, 2011

Splish Splash

There’s something about someone slipping on a banana peel that makes us laugh uproariously. But these days the banana peel has been upstaged by the smartphone and the idiots who are so wrapped up texting they don’t watch where they’re going.

Cathy Cruz Marrero from Reading, Pennsylvania is a texting idiot. A recent viral video shows Marrero so wrapped up in typing a text that she fell face first into a fountain. Splish splash!

As millions of viewers watched the viral video I’m certain no one said, “Hey wait, isn’t that Cathy Cruz Marrero from Reading, Pennsylvania?” Aah, but a chance at fifteen minutes of fame brought Cathy Cruz Marrero into the spotlight on national television proclaiming how embarrassed she was at the incident. If she was so embarrassed why did she identify herself as the texting idiot?

But it gets better. Today she and her uber-smart lawyer James Polyak announced they want to hold the person(s) who shot the video and put it on the Internet responsible. They’re considering a lawsuit. This definitely has the makings for a movie of the week starring Tori Spelling and Edward James Olmos.

Marrero also had the audacity to tearfully complain that no one from the mall called to see if she was okay. Who cares?!?

And it gets even better. Marrero is currently facing charges for credit card fraud.

Hmmm, something smells fishy and I don’t mean the dead goldfish in the fountain. Maybe Marrero deliberately set the whole thing up so she could have the international attention she so desperately craves, sue the mall, and then retire with her winnings? Now that sounds probable.

What was she texting? She was texting someone from her church. Aah, the church connection. She wants us to believe she’s a God fearing woman... but in truth a soon to be God fearing felon. Praise Jesus!

Marrero should hook up with Balloon Boy’s father. They’d be a perfect pair made in fraud heaven. Amen.

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