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Sunday, September 16, 2012

Dunkin’ Do Me Forever

After suffering days of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and donut withdraw raging through my bloodstream and mind I’ve decided that I must live where there’s a Dunkin’ Donuts.  I cannot go another minute without it.

Fact:  No other coffee/donut shop compares to Dunkin’ Donuts.

Fact: I love, love, love Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and donuts.

Conclusion: Because Los Angeles doesn’t have any Dunkin’ Donuts I must now move out of Los Angeles and head to a Dunkin’ friendly city.

Let’s start with the coffee. It’s a party in your mouth from that first sip over your moistened lips, saturating your taste buds gently with a strong yet arousing flavor, and slowly flowing down your throat warming your stomach with its rich essence. Aaah!


With Dunkin’ Donuts coffee you always remember fondly your first cup of the day, and your second, and your third, and your fourth, etc.


Now let’s talk about the donuts and donut holes. Love the chocolate and the jelly and the blueberry and the lemon filled donuts. Absolutely delicious. My taste buds salivate at the mere thought of them. 

Many friends have told me to shut up and just buy the Dunkin’ beans online or at the nearest grocer story. I have and although they are delicious they’re not the same.

Maybe it’s  something to do with the coffee pots Dunkin’ Donuts uses, and the layers and years of coffee that must line the inside of the pots? 

Maybe Dunkin’ Donuts employees aren’t really human after all and that they come from a faraway Dunkin’ Donuts planet where they all possess a special Dunkin’ Donuts gene?

Whatever it is I cannot not go another day without a Dunkin’ Donuts nearby.

Tonight I’m packing my belongings and mapping out all Dunkin’ Donuts locations going east and north and south and everywhere in between. Then I’m gonna get in my car and I’m gonna drive and drive and drive and drive until I can stand at a counter and say:

Good morning. One large regular coffee with a chocolate and jelly donut please.