A Chorus of Obscenities

I walk around my neighborhood to maintain good cardio and reach those coveted 10,000 steps per day. 

While on my walks, I see some interesting people. I say hello to many of them and they say hello back. Some people, no matter how often you see them, refuse to make eye contact, smile, or share a hello. That’s their loss, not mine. 

Often I'd say hello to a homeless woman, and she would wave and say hello, until one day she approached me, getting a bit too close for comfort, about six inches from my face, and told me she wanted to assassinate me. At first, I didn’t quite understand what she meant until she repeated it. “I’m gonna assassinate you!” 

I wasn’t initially scared but then began to wonder if she was holding a weapon, maybe a knife, and if so, was she going to follow through with her threat. 

I put my arm out for her to keep her distance. She demanded the names of my friends whom she planned on assassinating. I quickly moved on. 

The next time I saw her, I stayed far enough away and ignored her. She saw me and waved and yelled hello. I figured "why hold a grudge" and waved back. 

Oh, the characters you meet while walking... 

The other day while walking, I stopped at a red light. A man was crossing from the other side (he had the right to walk sign) and a car wanted to get through. For whatever reason, the driver of the car started yelling “Fuck you” to the guy crossing the street and the guy crossing the street started yelling “Fuck you” right back at him. 
These two men repeatedly mimicked each other with a continuous barrage of “Fuck you” with each round getting louder and more forceful. 

This volley of “Fuck you” caught a rhythm sounding just like a song you’d hear on the radio. It was infectious. It had a dance beat. I started moving to the rhythm... feeling its groove. 

When the light changed and the car drove away, the walker made sure he got the last “fuck you.” 

As I walked home I suddenly adopted that John Travolta swagger from Saturday Night Fever and sang, “Fuck you... fuck you... fuck you!!” all the way home. 

And here it is days later, and I can’t get the fucking song out of my head.

Comments

Sande said…
Funny! Let me guess. Was the beat perhaps to "Staying Alive?"