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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

It’s All About Business

I have a cell phone and I use it frequently, but there are places where I need to not have it within reach.

One place is the gym, where I like to relax and workout without any cell phone interruptions.

The other place is the bathroom.

Today I was in the men’s room at work standing at the urinal when I heard someone talking on a cell phone. It was quite a detailed conversation about contracts and what sounded like a confidential matter. His bold and loud voice I didn’t recognize so I knew he wasn’t one of my co-workers. I looked around and didn’t see anyone. Was it coming from the heating vent? No. The voice was coming from one of the stalls.

I began to wonder how this man could be sitting on the toilet conducting business and not feel embarrassed. How could he concentrate on both at the same time? I’d be afraid the person listening would hear what I was doing, and we all know that sometimes we make bathroom sounds that cannot be explained away.

It was then that he started unraveling the toilet paper to wipe his.... and he never missed a beat of the conversation.

I wondered what the other person would say if they knew what he was doing. Would they be so disgusted they’d cancel the business deal? Or were they also sitting on the porcelain thrown without embarrassment?

Something inside me wanted to pound on the stall door and yell, “Do you know he’s taking a sh*t!” But I didn’t. I just giggled at the strangeness of it all.

As I walked out the door I heard the whoosh of the flush.

I just hope he washed his hands… and sanitized that phone.

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