Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Movie Night

I live in an apartment building where the mailboxes are in the lobby, neatly lined up one after the other.

When I went to get my mail today I noticed Netflix envelopes in many of the mailboxes, including mine. It was a mini sea of red envelopes.

I imagined everybody getting comfortable tonight in their pajamas, underwear, sweat pants, or birthday suits and popping some popcorn (lightly buttered), pouring a glass of Shiraz or Malbec or maybe some Chablis, and curling up on the couch or settling in front of their computer to watch their latest rental.

I fantasized what type of movie each apartment rented.

Apartment 2 must be getting something animated, safe, like a Disney film, or a movie musical from the 1940s.

Apartment 18 would definitely be getting something erotic with full frontal nudity, both male and female.

Apartment 20 had to be receiving a foreign language film, maybe Fellini or something Swedish, but definitely not Spanish.

Apartment 9 would undoubtedly have a documentary on the evolution of the cockroach, or the complete third season of “Seinfeld.”

Apartment 17 would be secretly renting and enjoying “Shortbus” in the dark with the volume way low and a box of tissues nearby. (FYI - “Shortbus” isn’t a tearjerker, though it would definitely incite some type of jerking.)

And tonight while I’m watching my film I can sigh relief knowing that my neighbors will all be home with their air conditioners blowing cool air and experiencing the joys of cinema.

What will I be watching? Ryan Gosling in “Half Nelson.”

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