Thursday, August 07, 2008

Me Tarzan

Today I had the pleasure of driving to the valley and visiting Tarzana, CA. Actually I would never have thought of going to Tarzana except that a friend of mine needed to drop his Mercedes off for service and I was giving him a ride back to Hollywood. Did you know that Tarzana was named in honor of Edgar Rice Burroughs who wrote the Tarzan stories? Yup, the town is named after a feral child who was raised by apes.

I got there a little early and wandered the streets in search of a bite to eat. It was morning and I’d just come from the doctor’s office (physical) and was a bit hungry. Okay, starving. I came across a donut and muffin shop and decided to treat myself to something not quite healthy (don’t tell my nutritionist). My taste buds went into overdrive as I peered into the food case. I chose one donut (with icing) and a hot chocolate.

It was there that I noticed a pay phone on the sidewalk. It looked lonely. Upon further inspection I noticed it was filthy, dirty, scummy. It had definitely seen better days, and the stains all over it conjured up some not-so-pretty thoughts. I decided it needed more than a disinfectant; it needed a dose of penicillin.

This made me think... Does the phone company clean these things? Or does the phone company expect a good samaritan to used their personal supply of wet naps and de-louse it? I couldn’t imagine putting that thing to my ear. Thank goodness I have a cell phone.

Someone must empty the phone of quarters, right? So why can’t they clean it? Shame on the phone company for letting their phones become germ-phones. I’m certain more than a few unsuspecting pay phoners must have gotten an ear infection after using it.

While wandering back the the Mercedes repair shop I had this sudden urge to rip off my shirt, pound my chest, and scream that Tarzan victory yell. I didn’t for fear of being pointed at and mocked. (I’m still going to the gym to flatten my man boobs, which are deflating quite nicely.)

And that was my adventure in Tarzana, CA today.

Maybe next time I’ll wander further into the back streets and alleys and see what else the town has to offer besides donuts, hot chocolate, and a Mercedes repair shop.

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