Gone, Gone, Gone

Little Angela Torres recently watched her beloved white rabbit, Mr. Henderson, recently snatched by a coyote. One moment Mr. Henderson was hippity-hoppiting along without a care in the world and the next moment his neck was in the mouth of a coyote. The last image Little Angela has of her beloved Mr. Henderson is his tiny head bobbing up and down to the rhythm of the coyote strut.
The media didn’t find the story worthy of even the local Cable Access News.

Little Monique Canard was walking her puppy dog, Demetrius, last week when it slipped out of its collar and scampered away. She chased it around the block, and as she turned the corner she witnessed a coyote grab Demetrius by the hind leg and run, run, run. Little Monique screamed and ran after the wily coyote but the coyote was too damn fast and disappeared into nearby woods.

Little Monique's mother immediately phoned the media but was left on hold for over an hour before hanging up. Little Monique is now in therapy.

So why should talentless attention-craving media-whore Jessica Simpson warrant international media coverage for her pooch in a coyote’s mouth?

You dog is dead, Jessica, just like your career.