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Saturday, March 06, 2010

Pray for Jennie

I’ve a dilemma.

I adore my friend Jennie. All my friends adore Jennie. She’s full of spunk. She’s funny, funny, funny. She’s got more energy than people half her age. She wiggles wildly when she dances. She cackles when she laughs. She loves watching “Modern Family.”

I dare say that on the “amazing scale” she ranks quite high.

But there’s a problem, a bizarre alien synapse in her brain that’s blocking reason.

She likes Sarah Palin. Yup, that Sarah Palin.

It’s shocking that I would actually know and adore someone who thinks of Sarah Palin as something more than a freak sideshow of American politics, an absolute idiot, a death panel liar, a pathetic excuse for a human being, and a symbol of everything you don’t want your sons and daughters to become.

Jennie and I were recently at a party and as the conversation turned to politics there was the usual Sarah Palin bashing. Let’s face it Sarah’s a bulls eye for a good joke. Some of what was said cannot be printed here (and you know I don’t mind saying anything), but damn it was funny.

And there was Jennie suddenly quiet, and not gulping her lemon liqueur, but sipping it demurely, and avoiding eye contact and conversation.

Everyone gave each other “the look” and we slowly turned to Jennie... and then she blurted it out. “I like Sarah.” Jaws dropped and hearts were immediately broken.

We thought she had an aneurism and were ready to call 911, but she assured us she was okay.

How? Why?

Jennie really couldn’t explain why she liked silly Sarah. She tried, but all she could do was mutter incoherently and mispronounce words... just like Sarah.

We seriously considered never ever inviting her to another party, but then we decided Jennie’s worth saving. We believe she’s going through a phase, a bold misstep in judgement as a result of too much Fox News, and too much hairspray.

Please pray for Jennie. We adore her too much to let her succumb to the Palin disease.

Next party we plan an intervention and an exorcism.

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