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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A Royal Calamity

Oh the webs people weave...

This past week we learned that the happiest divorced couple in the world is gonna be happy no more. Fergie was caught in a sting operation selling access to her ex-husband Prince Andrew. Does she harbor such intense hateful feelings towards him that she would discard any sense of dignity for the almighty money? Did she actually think she’d never get caught?

Oh royalty oh royalty what has happened to thee?

First there was Diana and her bad behavior and now it’s Fergie. Are the men of Windsor that blind to money grubbing gold diggers?

For a mere pittance Fergie would promise you the opportunity to shake Andrew’s hand at a charity auction.

For a little more cash I believe Fergie would get your photo taken along side the Prince at a charity auction, and have it autographed personally by the Prince.

For a bit more cash I hear Fergie would allow you the opportunity to enjoy tea and crumpets with the Prince on a Thursday afternoon after he’s taken his afternoon nap.

For a sizable increase in a cash donation Fergie would sell you Andrew’s email address, and his password to the royal website where the royals share their inner most thoughts with each other.

For a whole lot of cash I’ve learned Fergie will get you a pair of Andrew’s unwashed Calvin Klein bikini briefs with a guarantee that DNA testing would prove the royal jewels sweated inside the designer pouch.

For a ton of cash I hear Fergie would not only give you the underwear but allow you to sneak into the royal palace and watch through a peep hole as the Prince showered, shaved, and... well, he is a man and he does have sexual needs.

Friends are saying Fergie’s fragile and desperate and in a very bad place. No shit. Her royal ass is gonna be thrown out of the royal family once and for all, and she deserves it. Shame on you, Fergie, shame on you.

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