All the Lindsay Lohan hoopla finally hit the fan yesterday with the judge sentencing her to 90 days jail followed by 90 days rehab. It was a tense moment in my household wishing, hoping, praying to the God of Celebrity that the all-too-often drugged out, drunk, bitchy, semi-gay, semi-straight, sex addict, too-old-for-her-age train wreck would be granted a minor slap on the wrist and be allowed to continue her life as a true role model for the kids of today.
When the judge announced her ruling, well, a part of me just died.
How does the song go? Bye, bye Miss American Pie...
While Lindsay’s behind bars getting cozy with Big Bertha and Large Marge what are we - the public - going to do? What will all the media outlets do without her? Will they be forced to report actual news?
With her out of action will the drug dealers be forced to go on unemployment?
And then today it’s being shown that classy, lady-like Lindsay had “fuck you” painted on her coke encrusted fingernails as a special message to the judge.
If I were the judge I’d not allow her to serve in a Los Angeles jail. I’d send her to Guantanamo Bay.
Good riddance, Lindsay, you got exactly what your bad behavior deserves.
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