Monday, August 16, 2010

A Black Cloud

I was quite amused by Jet Blue’s Steven Slater’s dramatic “fuck you” to horrible customers and his slide to freedom... and unemployment. What a way to go! He’s a hero to all customer service workers, and to some customers too.

I’m certain the bitchy lady who hit him in the head with her luggage was the final straw of years of being abused by customers who cling mightily to the “the customer is always right no matter what” mantra. The truth is some customers can be the most ill mannered arrogant assholes.

Years ago I worked in this horrible mall restaurant called Jimmy’s On The Mall whose main ingredient was lots and lots of MSG. I nicknamed the place “MSG Palace.” There was always an ambulance being called for some old person thinking they were having a heart attack when they were actually having an allergic reaction to all that MSG.

One time a regular customer insisted the baked potato wasn’t hot enough. He rubbed the potato all over his face to prove to me that it wasn’t hot to his standard. He then insisted I rub the potato over my freshly washed cheeks and chin. I declined.

I microwaved that potato until it was so hot it would’ve blistered his wrinkled mean old lips and scorched his devil tongue.

Then there was the time a woman ordered a cordial and insisted it be served in a wine glass and filled to the brim. When the bartender refused she went ballistic. Can we say “alcoholic”?

Then there was the couple that ordered one cup of coffee and when I wasn’t looking would pass it back and forth, and then keep asking for refills. They ordered decaf and after I caught on to their game I gave them regular coffee. Pleasant dreams, cheap bitches.

Just the other day I was at my favorite outdoor cafe and there was a car blocking the driveway and a truck trying to get in the driveway. I yelled for whoever owned the car to move it so the truck could get by. The owner of the car - who happened to be the cafe’s dimwitted manager - was so pissed that I would even suggest she move her car she became aggressive towards me.

As our heated argument was winding down I told her she didn’t need to be so selfish and all she had to do was move her car. That only set her off again. She said I was character assassinating her. I almost fell over laughing in her face, which only pissed her off more.

Maybe she was trying to be all Jet Blue Steven Slater with me? Maybe she thought if he could be a hero she could too? It didn’t work. With everyone watching her crass behavior and laughing at her she looked like an absolute fool, a black cloud on a sunny day, a fucking total bitch.

It would’ve been nice if she quit. Maybe she will. Or maybe she’ll get fired. One can only hope.

It just goes to show that some customers are scum and some customer service reps are scum too. But not Steven Slater.

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