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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Celebrity Squatters

Randy and Evi Quaid have jumped off the diving board of sanity and have bellyflopped into the cesspool of celebrity ego-inspired crime.

Have they been smoking too much crystal meth?

Have they been snorting too much cocaine?

Last year they were caught skipping out of hotels without paying their bills. Now they’ve been arrested for squatting in a house they sold years ago.

Oh yes Randy Quaid, the awarding winning actor and unattractive brother of handsome Dennis Quaid, along with his equally unattractive wife Evi, the failed director/producer who’s sole film was ironically called “The Debtors,” have been arrested for being celebrity squatters and once again behaving badly.

Not only did they squat but they destroyed the house too. It’s been reported that they trashed the place, and a $7,000 mirror that hung over the fireplace was broken and replaced with a picture of Randy and Evi.

When they fornicate do they have better orgasms in places where they have no intention of paying rent?

For last year’s crimes they avoided jail time and received community service. This time they need to serve hard time.

I suggest Randy bunk with George Michael and Evi bunk with the soon-to-be-incarcerated-for-a-failed-drug-test Lindsay Lohan.

George can teach Randy to sing the high notes, and Lindsay can teach Evi... well, use your imagination.

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