I have been so negligent with writing my precious thoughts in my blog.
I could say it’s because I’ve been wasting time in the hammock of laziness drinking pomegranate martinis and eating raw oysters, but I’d be lying.
I could say it’s because I’ve been on a whirlwind tour of the world dining with kings and queens and the occasional common folk, but that would be a boldface lie.
And I could say it’s because I was kidnapped by tea party terrorists and forced to listen repeatedly to Sarah Palin speeches until my ears bled, but everyone knows I’d kill myself before I’d subject myself to repeat listens of that bitch’s voice.
The truth is I’ve been wrapped up in life. Lots of life. I’ve been working on a film production and I’ve been busy with writing a couple of film projects. The sun would come up and before I knew it it was well past sundown, time to collapse into bed, only to do it all over again.
Because I was so busy I broke a rule I once promised myself I’d never do. While peeing at a urinal I answered my cell phone and conducted a business conversation without losing aim and wetting myself. It was a little tricky holding the cell phone with one hand and my “manhood” in the other, but I did it and I did it well. I don’t think the person I was talking to had a clue.
Of course I felt pangs of guilt. I did. But mixed with the guilt was a little pride that I did it flawlessly.
I promise not to do it again. Mother Nature and business calls shouldn’t mix.
I’m back everybody, I’m back...
I could say it’s because I’ve been wasting time in the hammock of laziness drinking pomegranate martinis and eating raw oysters, but I’d be lying.
I could say it’s because I’ve been on a whirlwind tour of the world dining with kings and queens and the occasional common folk, but that would be a boldface lie.
And I could say it’s because I was kidnapped by tea party terrorists and forced to listen repeatedly to Sarah Palin speeches until my ears bled, but everyone knows I’d kill myself before I’d subject myself to repeat listens of that bitch’s voice.
The truth is I’ve been wrapped up in life. Lots of life. I’ve been working on a film production and I’ve been busy with writing a couple of film projects. The sun would come up and before I knew it it was well past sundown, time to collapse into bed, only to do it all over again.
Because I was so busy I broke a rule I once promised myself I’d never do. While peeing at a urinal I answered my cell phone and conducted a business conversation without losing aim and wetting myself. It was a little tricky holding the cell phone with one hand and my “manhood” in the other, but I did it and I did it well. I don’t think the person I was talking to had a clue.
Of course I felt pangs of guilt. I did. But mixed with the guilt was a little pride that I did it flawlessly.
I promise not to do it again. Mother Nature and business calls shouldn’t mix.
I’m back everybody, I’m back...
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