Saturday, December 18, 2010

Heavenly Happiness

Have you ever wondered if there’s a way to communicate with those who’ve ventured to the other side via email? Let’s face it, technology has come a long way and if we can send music files through the internet why can’t we trade emails with the beyond?
Does Heaven have it’s own website and email system? I imagine it would be something simple like heaven.hvn, and to email the Big One, aka God, all you’d have to do is send an email to God@heaven.hvn.

Besides doing good deeds and watching over us what does God do on his spare time? He probably sits on his thrown cruising the internet on his MacBook, laughing at how stupid earth people behave, choosing who’s next, and trading email stories with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

God probably also contributes articles to Heaven’s monthly email newsletter, Heavenly Happiness. Oh I can imagine how heavenly the newsletter would look with its cloud and pearly gate logo against a beautiful blue background. So peaceful. So divine. So full of heavenly gossip.

The newsletter would give us the scoop on who’s hanging out with who, names of those denied entrance at the Pearly Gates and immediately sent south to a much hotter climate, sneak peeks at the new angel wing designs, who’s the most popular newcomer, who’s the most angelic, and who’s the one person they’re all anticipating.

To get on the mailing list all you’d have to do is send a request to newsletter@heaven.hvn and Heavenly Happiness would be all yours. And if you opt to become a heavenly subscriber (for a nominal fee) you’d be rewarded with monthly coupons redeemable upon your arrival. Coupons? Oh yes, for a variety of items and discounts at the Heavenly General Store, the Heavenly Cafeteria, the Heavenly Hotel, and the Heavenly Cinema. (FYI - Tyler Perry movies are very popular at the Heavenly Cinema.)

Sounds heavenly, doesn’t it?


Lucid Stu said...

Heavenly, indeed.

Lucid Stu said...

almost ... ... like a dream.

Lucid Stu said...

like a tennis match.

Lucid Stu said...

like a tennis match at poinsettia park.

Lucid Stu said...

loser buys lemonade.

Lucid Stu said...

sometimes...winner buy lemonade.

Lucid Stu said...

it never really was just the good times. And the tennis. And the lemonade. That's what mattered.