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Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Tickle The Nipple

I love getting free swag at conventions. Most of its useless, but every once in a while you get something you can’t keep your hands off.

This past weekend I went to the LA Convention Center for the annual ShowBiz Expo. As I wandered up and down the aisles staring blankly at all the booths wondering why I wasted time coming a high-pitched female voice suddenly interrupted my inner lament.

Would you like a boob?

A boob?

Yes, a boob.

She thrust her hand towards me and handed me a boob. A semi-firm skin-tone boob with a prominent nipple.

What does a boob have to do with ShowBiz Expo? The booth giving away the boobs was a Beverly Hills plastic surgery company. Aah, suddenly I got the connection: sagging boobs don’t look good on film, but a surgically enhanced boob looks “nipples to the wind” perfect. Oh Hollywood.

The boob now sits prominently on my desk beside my 13” MacBook computer.

When I’m feeling the lack of creative juice I grab the boob and squeeze.

When I’m feeling melancholy I gently caress the boob.

When I’m frustrated I pinch the nipple until it hurts.

When I’m feeling naughty I slap the boob.

When I’m feeling playful I tickle the nipple.

Oooh... gotta go....

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