Saturday night my friend and I decided it’d be a night of theatre instead of cinema. We wanted to see a live performance with real actors on a stage with an audience watching attentively.
Just before the production began there was the unfortunate-but-necessary announcement to shut down all devices such as cell phones, ipads, vibrators, etc. I promptly put my iphone on silent and slid it in my pants for safekeeping. I didn’t select vibrate because I just knew if I got a call while it was in my pants I might suffer an uncontrollable deep premature moan right there in row C seat 7.
As the lights came up for intermission the woman on my right asked me if the play was over. What?!? My gentlemanly manner suppressed derisive laughter and I politely told her there was an Act II after intermission. She looked dumbfounded. She might have been stylish but there obviously wasn’t much in terms of brain cells underneath her overly sprayed hair and overly made-up face.
When I got back to my seat after intermission she was on her phone. “I’m losing you. What? I’m at some play. Can’t hear you. Text me!”
The lights dimmed for Act II. She slid her phone inside her purse.
Every few moments she would open her purse and the little light from her cell phone would glow distracting myself and others around her. She’d read her latest text and feverishly text back then slide the phone back into her purse.
It happened again and again and again.
I wanted to grab her phone and break it, but my gentlemanly manners told me not to.
I wish I had her cell phone number because I would’ve pulled mine out of my pants and sent her the following text:
I don’t think she would’ve cared.
At the end of the play she stayed in her seat continuing to text. I wonder if she even knew the play was over.
Just before the production began there was the unfortunate-but-necessary announcement to shut down all devices such as cell phones, ipads, vibrators, etc. I promptly put my iphone on silent and slid it in my pants for safekeeping. I didn’t select vibrate because I just knew if I got a call while it was in my pants I might suffer an uncontrollable deep premature moan right there in row C seat 7.
As the lights came up for intermission the woman on my right asked me if the play was over. What?!? My gentlemanly manner suppressed derisive laughter and I politely told her there was an Act II after intermission. She looked dumbfounded. She might have been stylish but there obviously wasn’t much in terms of brain cells underneath her overly sprayed hair and overly made-up face.
When I got back to my seat after intermission she was on her phone. “I’m losing you. What? I’m at some play. Can’t hear you. Text me!”
The lights dimmed for Act II. She slid her phone inside her purse.
Every few moments she would open her purse and the little light from her cell phone would glow distracting myself and others around her. She’d read her latest text and feverishly text back then slide the phone back into her purse.
It happened again and again and again.
I wanted to grab her phone and break it, but my gentlemanly manners told me not to.
I wish I had her cell phone number because I would’ve pulled mine out of my pants and sent her the following text:
At the end of the play she stayed in her seat continuing to text. I wonder if she even knew the play was over.
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