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Monday, January 14, 2013

A Fond Flu Memory


It’s that flu-season-time-of-the-year when we fear coughing, congestion, runny noses, aches, chills, bombastic explosions from both ends, and not having any ginger ale in the refrigerator when we need it most.

The last time I had the flu coincided with an important job interview. The interview was set up by a friend and I didn’t want to jeopardize getting the job, so the morning of the interview I crawled out of bed determined to go.

Vomited. Showered. Got dressed. Vomited. Changed clothes. Drove semi-consciously to interview.

By the time I got there my black tee-shirt and black sweater were soaked with sweat.  With determination overpowering my lack of common sense I wobbled the long outdoor corridor from the parking lot to the interview building. 

The interview began well enough with the woman interviewer showing me around the work area. I was alert, friendly, and eager to impress.  I carefully followed her doing my best to not stagger, not vomit, and to conceal the vast amounts of sweat that seemed to be dripping from head to toe. 

I convinced myself I was nailing the interview. 

Then we went back to her office. She sat behind her desk and I sat on the couch. Suddenly things took a turn and I felt quite dizzy.  She kept going in and out of focus. I couldn’t understand a word she was saying. I squinted. I forced a smile. I wiped the sweat from my forehead. I clenched my ass cheeks.

The next thing I knew I slid to the side and fell into the couch. I quickly caught myself and pretended I was adjusting my sitting position. I joked about losing my balance. She didn’t laugh. She eyed me suspiciously. 

When the interview was over I stumbled outside. Too weak to walk the outdoor corridor to my car I kept stopping at the various benches to regain strength. I don’t remember driving home, but I know I did. 

A few days later when I regained coherency I emailed her to let her know I was sick and I apologized if I appeared somewhat strange. I never heard back from her. 

Needless to say I never got the job.

In retrospect it’s a fond flu memory; one I can now laugh about, but never want to experience again.

2 comments:

AudraM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AudraM said...

I just laughed out loud! Michael, you're a riot! x