Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Kidney Stone Jewelry

Lately I’ve been hearing from friends and relatives and total strangers about their adventures with kidney stones. Yes, those solid crystal buildups in the kidneys caused by dietary minerals in the urine have been the hot topic of conversation replacing anything about Kanye and Kim or Miley and her snake-like tongue. 
So pretty!
Are kidney stones the new trend? I think so, which makes me think of what could be creatively made with kidney stones.... are you ready?... kidney stone jewelry!

I plan on taking this brilliant idea on TV’s Shark Tank and having the sharks fight to invest in this wonderful business opportunity. With their multi-million dollar investments I envision going to third world countries to harvest kidney stones.

The jewelry possibilities are endless.

Why not wear something pretty that was made from something that was forced painfully through someone’s urethra?  It’s natural. It’s minerals. It’s organic!

String together a collection of kidney stones to make a handsome necklace that will certainly accentuate anyone’s bosom or rest happily against a manly hairy chest?

A cluster of kidney stones will make a beautiful broach or belt buckle.

Excuse me, but where did you get such a unique and beautiful thing?

Oh thank you! It’s a one-of-a-kind created especially for me with fresh water kidney stones. They’re human!

The tinier stones are perfect for pinky rings, earrings, nipple rings, and cock rings. No body part should be denied being adorned in kidney stone jewelry.

In years to come I anticipate kidney stones surpassing diamonds as the stone of choice for engagement rings.

Years ago I had a bout with kidney stones, and as I wretched in pain to pass them they broke into multi-sized crystals.  They formed a nice pile in the toilet bowl shining like gems in the clear toilet water.  Unfortunately I didn’t have the foresight to scoop them up and save them.  I foolishly flushed them down.

They would have made a beautiful remembrance ring, a keepsake I could pass from generation to generation as a treasured family heirloom.

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