Tuesday, March 04, 2014

I Woke Up Like This

Because I’ve been plagued with long hours in film production I haven’t been getting out as often as I should and I haven’t been getting the exercise I need. To remedy this I’ve been taking a walk every night as soon as I get home before my tiredness drags me to the couch. This way I burn calories and while I walk I can decompress from the passive aggressive insanity that overwhelms my days.

As I was walking the other evening I passed a bus stop and as I passed I noticed the fencing behind the bench had something hanging on it. I had never seen it before so I stopped to ponder what lay before me:

I Woke Up Like This… Hmmm… Who woke up like this?

I squinted my eyes in the night darkness to get a better look. I even used my iPhone flashlight to shine a spotlight on it.

Within the cacophony of black and white I saw a smiling woman’s face entwined in all sorts of objects and patterns. Wow, I thought, that woman had quite the night and by the grin on her face I can only imagine the fun she had before the lights went out and the last of the vodka swallowed.  That’s the “I can’t believe the night I had, and I’m so glad I did” morning portrait, with a “damn I still look good” self satisfaction smile.

Then I thought what I must wake up looking like…

To find out I made sure  this morning when I awoke I looked up into the mirror to examine myself. There I was like a beached whale so wrapped up in my electric blanket I looked like a mummy.  One wrong move I was certain I’d electrocute myself, or maybe I did during the night.

My hair was erect in every possible direction.  Its myriad of colors - all natural - went from dark brown to light brown to the dreaded grey.

As I pulled myself free from the electric blanket my body parts were not in proportion to what they should be. Some looked too big and others too small and some were hidden within the big and small and didn’t look medium at all.  I looked like a scene from a soon-to-be horror film. 

This is what working long hours had done to me. 

Before I could process the mirror image above me I had to drag myself out of bed, gently massage my aching joints, get into the shower, get dressed, and get to work.  

Damn, I want her life.  

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