Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The Wishing Pole of Hollywood

The other day I was driving around Hollywood when I noticed something strange wrapped around a Street Parking Sign Pole.  It wasn’t the best part of Hollywood and I should have been a bit cautious, but undaunted and full of carefree curiosity, I parked my car and wandered over for a closer inspection.

The Street Parking Sign Pole was wrapped with dead tree branches, and on those branches were lots of little pieces of paper with writing on them. I sniffed the tree branches anticipating a memory-filled Christmas Tree scent. They smelled like dead branches and made me cough.

I looked around to see if anyone was watching me, then I realized I was in Hollywood where if you’re sniffing something nobody really cares, and if they catch you sniffing you just have to invite them to sniff along with you.  Luckily no one was around me so I didn’t have to invite anyone for a sniff.

On one side of the attached paper pieces was printed “Make An Unincorporated Wish!” 

With eager fingers I began turning over the pieces of paper to read the wishes.  
I wish for a loving kind husband.
My desire will be a success.
I choose to be successful in music!
Some of them were horribly misspelled, but instead of snickering at the spelling errors and using a sharpie to correct those errors, I was overcome with a warmth that ran from my head to my toes that tickled my spine and filled me with swollen joy. 

I then genuflected in front of The Wishing Pole of Hollywood and made a few wishes.

I didn’t wish for world peace and harmony and more music from Helen Reddy.

I didn’t wish for getting through the next twenty levels of Candy Crush Saga on the first try.

I didn’t wish for an unlimited supply of Girl Scout Tagalongs cookies.

Oh no… my wishes were much more profound.

Now I won’t tell you what they were but if you find that pole you can certainly see them for yourself.

All I’m gonna say is the next time you see me I might be a bit taller, have a fuller head of hair, six pack abs, a porn star’s strut, and driving a new Mercedes.

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