Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Burping The Tupperware

Years ago I was invited to a Tupperware party.  I had just moved into a new apartment with more cabinet space than I needed so I figured I’d go and buy a container or two to fill a cabinet. I told myself not to spend more than $30.  

What I didn’t know was the Tupperware party was being hosted by a Drag Queen.  From the moment she made her grand entrance singing and dancing about the joys of Tupperware I was hooked.  I wanted Tupperware. I needed Tupperware.  I had to have Tupperware. I ending up spending $238 on Tupperware.

My new Tupperware filled my new cabinets nicely.  

It wasn’t until I used my new Tupperware for the first time that I experienced the true joy of “burping” the Tupperware.  

After making more pasta with chicken and sundried tomatoes than I could possibly eat in one sitting I reached for the Tupperware to store my leftovers. I carefully spooned the food into my new Tupperware container and as I put on the lid I remembered to “burp” the Tupperware in order to keep the food fresh.  

As that burp exhaled from inside the container a delicious whiff of the pasta with chicken and sundered tomatoes escaped filling my nostrils with an “aaaaah” moment.  The memory of the first bite repeated itself.  

I burped and whiffed a second time… and a third… and each moment felt better than the one before.  I was getting hungry all over again, but I didn’t eat the leftovers. I wanted to burp and whiff again and again.  And I did. 

Ever since that first moment when I discovered the joys of Tupperware burp and whiff I cannot cook any food without cooking extra.  I look forward to storing leftovers and sneaking into the refrigerator late at night for a quick burp and whiff.  Sometimes I can’t control the urge, and after numerous burps and whiffs I whip out a fork and eat everything. 

If I’m at someone’s house and see they have Tupperware containers in their refrigerator I create a diversion so I can sneak into their refrigerator, grab the tupperware, and give it a good  burp and whiff. Most times it’s a delicious burp and whiff followed by a recipe request, but sometimes, on a rare occasion, it’s a burp and whiff then stink and barf. When that happens I am forced to end my friendship with the Tupperware offender. 

Tonight I’m making lots of roasted chicken with roasted potatoes and roasted vegetables with fresh rosemary. 

Can’t wait until after dinner to… well, you know… 

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