My Bologna Has a First Name…

It was French Class during my senior year of High School.  Spring had sprung and prom and graduation were coming soon. 

My acne was clearing up nicely thanks to the huge doses of prescription tetracycline and bimonthly visits to my dermatologist whose name was ironically Dr. Hamburger.  (Yes, it’s true!)

Oh, such an exciting time is a teenager’s world. 

My French teacher decided it would be a wonderful idea for the Seniors to perform popular commercials in French at the Junior High School’s upcoming Spring Assembly.

Everyone formed groups and chose a commercial to translate and perform. I teamed up with Marianne and Susan to sing the Oscar Mayer song. The popular commercial was a little boy sitting on an edge of a dock with a fishing pole singing the joys of bologna. 

In our little version I would be the boy with the fishing pole and Marianne and Susan would sit on either side of me with their own fishing poles. We would be the Bologna Trio! 

If you forgot the original commercial with the overly cute little boy here it is:


Assembly Day arrived and Marianne and Susan and I took to the stage. We began to sing: 

Ma mortadelle a une premiere nom
C’est O-S-C-A-R
Ma mortadelle a une seconde nom
C’est M-A-Y-E-R

It was at this point I made the fatal mistake of looking left to Marianne.  When I did we both realized how silly we must look and how silly we must sound and we laughed ourselves silly. We tried to continue singing… 

J’aime le manger tous les jours
et si tu demande pourquoi je dirais

And then it happened. We lost all control and fell over each other in loud silly laughter. Poor Susan soldiered on and finished the final line of the song. 

Oscar Meyer a une facon avec M-O-R-T-A-D-E-L-L-E

Sadly no one heard her sing. Marianne and I were laughing way too loud, as was the audience. 

Our French teacher wasn’t pleased, but we didn’t care, we were graduating soon. 

And that is my fondest memory of French Class Senior Year. 

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