Sunday, October 11, 2015

The Non-Flushers

Today’s rant is all about the men in my office who go to the office mens room and #1 and #2 and never flush when they’re done. What gives?

I am so tired of going into the bathroom and seeing un-flushed urinals, and yes, un-flushed toilets too. This has been happening a lot lately and it has to stop. I don’t want to look in the urinal and know the man before me took too many vitamins, needs to take vitamins, or ate too much asparagus for lunch. 

As for the un-flushed toilets, if they’re afraid to put their hand on the flusher then they need to lift their leg and use their shoe to press the handle. It’s surprising what happens… Flush!  #1 and #2 disappear! 

This begs the questions, “Who raised these men to be Non-Flushers?” Did they grow up leaving their  #1 and #2 un-flushed in their house for their mothers or fathers to see, and flush for them? 

I am totally disgusted by their behavior, and had to resort to posting “Flush Me” signs over the urinals and on the toilet doors.  These grown men (or should I say boys?) need a sign to tell them to flush, and yet they don’t heed the warning. 

Maybe they don’t understand what the word “flush” means. 

I don’t care who they think you are, but they are no better than any other man who uses the bathroom. Their piss isn’t prettier and their shit is any more attractive than anyone else’s. No one wants to see what come out of their body.

Of course I am keeping an eye to see who goes into the bathroom so I can determine who the non-flushers are, and seek revenge. I want to catch them in the act and push their noses into the urinal and into the toilet like you do a dog when they mess on the floor. “Bad Pisser! Bad Shitter!”

Don’t they hear the urinals and toilets begging, “Flush me! Flush me!” after they’re done?  

If they can’t learn to flush then they need to have their mens room privileges taken away.  

And let’s not even talk about most men’s lack of aim… 

Thank goodness I’m not the janitor. 

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