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Friday, November 11, 2016

Chewing Gum and the Urinal

I rarely chew gum, but when I do, I find that after the first burst of flavor the joy-of-chewing quickly disappears and all that’s left is a wad of rubbery substance to chomp on until its either swallowed or thrown in the trash.

People who noisily chew gum irritate me.  I find it unattractive, especially when their mouths are flapping in constant motion. But hey, if someone wants to chew that’s their right, they just need to follow good-gum-manners when they’re done chewing.


My most recent altercation with chewing gum involves a urinal. Yes, a urinal. And it wasn’t pleasant.

Picture this… me at the gym… in the locker room… in the bathroom… at the last urinal on the left… and there on the splash guard of the “non-flushing” urinal was a wad of chewed gum…

I could only imagine that someone had spit the gum into the urinal while peeing.

That wad of gum was staring up at me as I peed, taunting me, daring me to pee on it. I lost all concentration, and almost lost my aim too. I was pissed.

Because it’s a “non-flushing” urinal, the gum doesn’t go with the flow and flush away. It stays there… and stays there… and stays there… until someone… most likely a bathroom janitor takes it out.  

The next day I used a different urinal (the second one from the right) and in that one there was a huge wad of chewed gum. This one looked like pink bubble gum, and it had a set of distinct teeth marks on it.

Spitting chewed gum into urinals is not good-gum-chewing behavior.

Today when I used the gym urinal there was no gum… thank goodness… but then I went to the sink to wash my hands and there in the bottom of the sink was a wad of chewed gum.

Why, why, why, why, WHY?!?  

Whoever this person is, he needs to be caught and taught lessons in gum-chewing-manners.

I think DNA samples should be taken from the chewed gum, and then the person’s face posted all over the gym so everyone will know he’s got BAD GUM-CHEWING MANNERS.

If he can’t chew it and dispose of it properly, then he shouldn’t be allowed to chew it at all. 


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