Thursday, April 20, 2017

A Bag of Sh*t

Sometimes your eyes see something that causes you to blink repeatedly, asking yourself if you really saw what you think you just saw.

That’s exactly what happened to me the other day.

I was looking out my window and saw a man walking his dog. When they were directly in front of my window I saw the medium-sized dog squat for a bowel movement.

I kept watching because I wanted to know if the owner had any intention of picking the dog poop up and throwing it in the nearby trash barrel. 

Luckily for other walkers, once the dog was done, the owner did indeed reach into his pocket and pull out a small blue plastic bag. He inserted his hand into the bag, bent over, and picked up the dog poop.

Yeah. This man is a good dog owner. He picks up the shit so other don’t step in it.

Then the strangest thing happened….

Instead of going to the nearby trash barrel to throw the bag of dog shit out, he folded the bag and put it in his jacket pocket. His designer-looking high-end (i.e.: expensive looking) jacket pocket!

I blinked and blinked again. Did he just put a bag of dog shit into his jacket pocket?

He sure did.

Is that the same pocket he puts his little box of Tic Tacs or his pack of chewing gum or tissues he uses to blow his nose or his keys or his wallet or… well, just imagine what you put in your pocket and if you’d want to put those items in a pocket where you store bags of shit.

What happens if the bag breaks… or leaks?  Ugh!

Pity the poor pickpocket who pickpockets his pocket. 

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