Shaped Like Nothing I’ve Ever Seen Before

Sometimes when I am minding my own business I see things I shouldn’t see at all…

Not long ago I was at the gym, in the locker room, and at the sink washing my hands. I had just finished rinsing the soap away when I started shaking my hands to set free the water drops that were stubbornly clinging to my fingers and palms.

As I shook my hands, water drops sprayed each and every way. It was then that I noticed there was a man at the sink next to me. He was shaving. I was worried I splashed him with my DNA infused water drops and was about to apologize when I happened to look down and see something that stunned and amazed me and I couldn’t stop staring.

What I saw was shaped like nothing I’ve ever seen before, and I’ve seen many.

I didn’t want him to catch me staring, because staring is rather rude, but damn, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. It scared me.

I tried to look away. I really did. I looked up and I looked everywhere but down, but there was this inner power that kept forcing to look at… it.  It made me gasp. It made me bug-eyed. It mesmerized me.

His right foot had six toes!  Not just a little stub for a sixth toe, but an elongated toe stuck between his third and fourth toe, and just as long.

I had never seen a foot with six toes before. 

Suddenly, the “This Little Piggy” nursery rhyme started playing in my mind… slowly at first, then faster and faster… I was dizzy and trapped inside the little piggy song…

This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home
This little piggy had roast beef
And this little piggy had none
This little piggy cried “wee wee wee”
All the way home

Ugh! That poor sixth toe has no line in the rhyme!

Throughout this ordeal, the shaving man didn’t notice or didn’t let on that he noticed, though when I caught my final glimpse I swear the sixth toe rose up and down as if it was acknowledging my attention.

How does he wear shoes? Does he need to buy shoes specially fitted for a six-toed right foot?  When he gets a pedicure do they charge him extra for the sixth toe? When he was a little boy did the other boys tease him about the size of his toes?  And how the hell does he tiptoe through the tulips?

I was totally freaked. It was a site I wasn’t expecting to see, and one that will stay in my mind for a long, long time.

As I left the locker room, I couldn’t help myself and I sang, “This little piggy cried ‘wee, wee, wee’ all the way home.”

True story.

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