The Unfortunate Incident In the Gym Locker Room


If you saw someone coming out of the bathroom with a long piece of toilet paper stuck to their shoe would you tell them?

If you saw a woman coming out of the ladies room with the back of her skirt stuck in the top of her pantyhose would you tell her?

If you were meeting with someone and they had a large piece of spinach stuck to their front teeth would you tell them?

If that was me, I’d surely want someone to tap me on the shoulder and whisper my faux pas. Sure, I’d be mortified and embarrassed but it’s better to have one person notice and tell you than a large group laughing at you behind your back.  

Recently, I had an unfortunate incident in the gym locker room where I had to decide whether or not to tell someone something that was embarrassing for them, and in this case, a delicate situation.

After finishing my gym workout, I headed into the locker room. As I approached my locker, I saw an older man whose locker was next to mine. His back was towards me and he was naked, bending over to grab his towel out of his gym bag. I immediately noticed hanging out of his wrinkly ass was a long piece of toilet paper. It surprised me. I mean, how people do you see in a locker room with toilet paper hanging out of their ass?

Others around noticed, and I could see the concealed laughter.  
I figured he’d wrap the towel around himself as he headed to the showers, but that didn’t happen. He walked across the room holding his towel and as he walked, the piece of white toilet paper was like a tail wagging from his jiggly wrinkled ass.  
I saw someone point to him giggle and that’s when I jumped into action. I bee-lined to the man and tapped him on the shoulder and whispered, “Hey man, you have a piece of toilet paper hanging out of your ass.” He let out a little gasp and immediately reached behind himself, but in that gesture, he didn’t quite find it.

I said, “It’s still there.”

He backed up against the wall to hide his ass from view. I had no reason to stay so I told him to have a nice day and I left.

The next day when I saw him, there was an awkwardness when he saw me. He didn’t know how to react, and I didn’t know if I should make light of it and say something like, “Hey man, did you ever get that piece of toilet paper out of your ass?”

I couldn’t. I didn’t.

Instead, I just said hello, and continued on my way.

(true story)

© 2018 Michael Coscia

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