As each year rolls to an end, I always like to spend a little time reflecting on the highs and lows, the successes and failures, the joys and tears of the past year. I write these deep thoughts in my journal so I can revisit them time and time again.
When I’m done reflecting and writing, I turn my attention to the forthcoming year and all the wonderful things I anticipate experiencing.
This year on New Year’s Eve weekend I was awakened by the sound of my carbon monoxide detector going off... with a carbon monoxide level in the mid-level exposure, five times what the gas company told me it considers safe. I immediately set off in a panic.
My life flashed before me as I stumbled to shut the heater, open the windows, and breathe the fresh air.
What flashed before me was not the life I wanted to see flash before me... this wasn’t the death bed scene I always dreamed of having... I wasn’t ready to bid earth goodbye... I still had books to read, recipes to make, new friends to meet, and work to be done... and yet, here I was gasping for oxygen.
If that alarm didn’t signal its warning, I could have stayed asleep, possibly forever... and sleeping forever was never going to be part of my list of 2019 anticipations.
What makes it all the more alarming is that the carbon monoxide was coming from a brand-new heater, which apparently wasn’t installed correctly.
For the week leading up to New Year’s Eve, I had the heater on intermittently. It wasn’t until New Year’s Eve weekend that the temperatures dipped into the high 40s at night and my heater stayed on.
During that week, I was feeling quite lethargic, often falling asleep within minutes of sitting on the couch. I was having breathing problems with occasional heart palpitations. My joints ached. I attributed it to cold/flu symptoms and began a strict regimen of Mucinex and rubbing my chest with ample amounts of Vicks VapoRub. I started keeping the heater on for longer periods of time so I wouldn’t be chilled. My symptoms got worse.
I could easily have died because of carbon monoxide.
After it was determined that the heater was malfunctioning, another new one was installed.
I now fear carbon monoxide, the truly silent killer. I find myself checking the digital carbon monoxide detector constantly, and each time I see it registered at zero, I breathe a little easier.
It took over a week for me to feel like my usually healthy self.
The enormity of what could have been has weighed heavily on me. It certainly has changed the way I look at life.
My 2019 mantra is, “I’m Alive! I’m Alive! I’m Alive!”
And damn it, I am.
You haven’t heard the last of me yet.
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