Years ago when I was much younger and more naive, I barked. Yes, I barked like a dog... And all these years later, whenever I think about that bark, I relive the trauma with the same intensity as the day it happened.
Let me explain...
When I was a teen, I had a part-time job taking care of my neighbor's Irish Setter, name Sovereign. Every day after school I would go to their house and let the dog out, keeping him tethered with a fifteen-foot leash to a spike in the ground.
Sovereign never stopped barking when he was outside, and he always barked loudly.
Neighbors complained.
His owners were at their wit's end with his barking.
One day when I went over to take him out, I saw beside his leash a new collar with what looked like a small battery pack attached to it. On the collar was printed something about it being a barking control device.
I was curious. How did it work?
Before putting it on Sovereign, I decided to put it around my neck to see what would happen when I barked.
I secured the collar tightly around my throat and then I took a deep breath and let out a rather hefty bark, doing my best to imitate Sovereign...
And then I doubled over in pain as an electric shock stabbed me in the throat.
In between my painful yelps, I tried desperately to unhook the collar, and with every little yelp, I got yet another shocking jolt.
After what seemed like forever, I was able to unleash the collar. I fell to the floor in a semi-delirious state unable to speak. I looked over at Sovereign and by the look in his eyes, I could tell he truly understood my pain.
I knew then that I could never put that thing around his neck, and I never did. I found his other collar and used that. (I accidentally-on-purpose broke the barking collar.)
Our shared trauma added meaning to our relationship. Sovereign knew that I knew, and I knew he didn't deserve to be shocked like that.
Whenever I let Sovereign out, I let him bark, and his barking suddenly became like a symphony for me, and I didn't care if the neighbors complained.
To this day, hearing a dog bark is comfort to my ears... and to my throat.
Bow wow.
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