Thursday, October 10, 2013

Funky Funky Socks

My new obsession is funky socks. Happy colored socks. Multi-patterned socks. Socks that make my ankles feel young, hip, and horny.

My mood changes for the better when I wear funky socks.  My achilles heels leap and jump to the joyous rhythms of the day.

But that wasn’t always the truth with me... It took many years for me to come to this realization. My problem was I was born with shy ankles.  They’re nicely formed ankles and they should have been proud of themselves but they were not.  They needed to be coerced into the colored life.

I’m not as young as I used to be and neither are my ankles. Over the years they became happily ensconced  in a life of navy blue and black nylon-blend.

They have also gotten a bit hairy and calloused too.  Am I a bad ankle man because I never moisturized?

Last Christmas an artist friend gave me two pair of multi-colored socks. I was enchanted but every time I put them on my ankles itched and bitched and refused to hold up my body. They were paralyzed with color-and-pattern-fear. Whenever I tried wearing them  I stumbled and scratched. I was forced to toss them into the sock drawer and never touch them again.

A month ago something wonderful happened. I was browsing the sock aisle when a pair of yellow orange and beige striped socks stole my attention.  I tried resisting and my ankles kept pulling me away, but the colors were mesmerizing and I finally succumbed.

There was a lot of crying and stumbling and itching and a few too many bruises but I persevered until my ankles stopped resisting. It was a beautiful and spiritual moment when my ankles' inner chakras opened to the joys of colored socks. Aaaah!

Together my ankles and I have thrown out the drab navy blue and black nylon-blends and have filled the sock drawer with lots of funky funky socks.  Every morning we have so much fun choosing the “socks of the day.”

When I see people catching a glimpse of my newly fashioned ankles I slowly raise my pant leg to give them more, more, more.

Funky socks forever!